Amends Letters - SoberRecovery: Alcoholism Drug Addiction.
The Importance of Making Amends. Making amends is an integral part of personal growth and healing. It is so imperative to make amends with those people whom you have wronged that it is outlined, clearly, in Alcoholics Anonymous. Steps eight and nine of the Twelve Steps specifically call for amends. What are the Types of Amends?
In other cases, you may have no way of making amends directly. The person may be dead, or you may not be able to discover where he or she lives. In such cases, you can still make amends indirectly. You can write the person a letter expressing your regret and desire for reconciliation, even if the letter cannot be delivered. You can give a gift.
The ex in-laws of my brother were no longer available so I needed to write a no send letter for them. The real gift of this step was to figure out who I DIDN'T owe amends to. I found my Aunt who had verbally abused me didn't deserve an amends but she did deserve forgiveness and the freedom from the resentment around her was the amends to myself.
These exercises can help you work the 9th Step. In other words, they allow you to get into the feelings and specifics and not just rush through the Step. Keep the task manageable; set safe boundaries for yourself. For example, set aside an amount of time that feels comfortable to you to work the Step at a given time. Keep it simple. Consider “book-ending” with your Step work. Book-ending.
The decision to write a letter of reconciliation is a personal choice. There are other means and processes for forgiveness. This is just one option for people who have been longing to take a step and don’t know where to start. The option, however, is not for everyone. Specifically, if you are a victim of serious abuse, it is recommended that.
So, when step 9 came around, my sponsor suggested that I write an amends letter to men, which upon my dismay she edited it to be an amends letter to the good men out there. Conveniently enough, I never got around to it. I never made that amends. Well, as those in recovery and anyone who believes in a loving higher power can attest to, sometimes God makes you do the steps that you didn’t want.
Step 9 completes what I started in step 8. I make amends to those that I have harmed. I pay back debts I owe. I apologize. I write letters. I find time to do and say things that would help heal the damage that I have done. I try to bring goodness where previously I had brought discord and destruction. It takes insight, courage and dedication to make such amends, but now I have the help of my.